Judaism of Contrasts

Mark you calendar! Yesterday was the first day of the Jewish month of Av. In Av, there are two lesser-known Jewish holidays. The names of these holidays are very similar, but the themes are polar opposites.

Falling on August 2-3 this year, it is the fast day of Tisha B’av or the 9th of Av. According to tradition, it’s the anniversary of the destruction of the First Temple, the Second Temple, and many other tragedies in Jewish history.  It’s traditionally marked with a full day of fasting and reading Lamentations.

Then, just a week later, falling on August 8-9 this year, it will be Tu B’Av, or the 15th of the Av. Tu B’Av is the traditional holiday of love in Judaism.  In direct contrast to the list of catastrophes on Tish B’av, the Talmud includes a list of celebratory things that happened on Tu B’Av, from decrees for more open marriage laws to a law against cutting down trees. Most importantly, on Tu B’Av, eligible young women would put on white outfits and go out to meet potential suitors.  In a show of equity, wealthy women would share their fine clothing with poorer women, so that everybody would meet their matches on an equal footing.

Judaism is a religion of contrasts.  Sweet and bitter on Passover.  Yom Kippur ending and Sukkot celebrations beginning.  Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Memorial Day) leading right into Yom HaAtzmaut (Israeli Independence Day). Something is refreshing and reassuring about this approach. It compels us to see the good, even when things look glum and doomed.  It reminds us that there is hope in any situation. It tells us to see joy even in darkness.

Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel once told Oprah, “That I survived the Holocaust and went on to love beautiful girls, to talk, to write, to have toast and tea and live my life - that is what is abnormal." 

Judaism not only recognizes but elevates that which can feel abnormal – finding joy and appreciating the finer things while still recognizing and acknowledging that not all is well, and we must work for change.

Our tradition says that a string of bad things happened on the 9th of Av.  Does it feel like too big a coincidence that all bad things happened on the same day?  Of course.  But perhaps there’s a message embedded in this fantastical exaggeration. We could spend every day mourning one destruction or another.  But it would not give us room for joy or growth or change. 

On Tisha B’Av this year, I encourage you to remember the hard times and pay homage to the tragedies. But there’s a condition.  On Tu B’Av, tell your family that you love them, and do something special for the people closest to you.  Look for love in your life and rejoice in it.