My wife, Elizabeth Quinn, and I were married in an interfaith service by Rabbi Blecher and Reverend Wolf from Elizabeth's church. From our meetings with Rabbi Blecher, Elizabeth and I became involved with Beth Chai. Both as a congregation and among the individual members, Beth Chai has been extremely welcoming to us. I was brought up and had my Bar Mitzvah as a conservative Jew. Although I took a break from active Judaism for many years, I have always had a strong identity as a Jew. Elizabeth is a practicing Episcopalian.
Neil Rosen and Gayle Friedman
Beth Chai is a community where we can discover what being Jewish means to us.
The most comforting aspect of Beth Chai is that both Elizabeth and I are able to participate freely and equally. I am able to reconnect with Judaism and Elizabeth is able to learn about Jewish traditions and practices. The education at Beth Chai, both for children and adults, provides an open and free thinking view of Judaism. The programs at Beth Chai show a deep respect for the varied views, ideas, and backgrounds of its members.
Ira and I had been members of a conservative synagogue for a number of years and left immediately after our youngest was Bat Mitzvahed. Both of us had grown up in families with strong Jewish identities. However, both of us defined our Jewish identify by our own individual responsibilities and behavior rather than by fixed rituals and prayers. We were quite surprised to discover this concept had been so well defined by Humanistic Judaism. How wonderful to find others who did not want their Jewishness defined by rigid rituals.
Humanism may well be the next step in the development of humanity, particularly the Jews. We have progressed from the temple system to the rabbinical system in which teachers taught the rules of the deity and are now approaching a morality in which the person is able to model their behavior on a system based not so much as obeying the 613 rules, but relying on a premise that we are responsible for each other, and respectful of each person’s freedom to believe as they see fit, with a common overlapping morality.
It is quite a wonderful experience to attend services where members of the congregation feel such a sense of community and participation. Neither Ira or I had experienced High Holiday services where the congregation participated with such warmth and attention. The adult education activities have been both challenging and enlightening.
Jackie and I joined Beth Chai for a variety of reasons. Chief among them was the need of our son Evan, who is "in the zone" for an upcoming Bar Mitzvah. We are non-theists and previously had been a member-family of Machar; however, our son is a theist and it was unlikely that his needs would be met within the context of Machar's liturgy. To us, Beth Chai embraced a wider set of programs and views and we felt that it would meet the combined needs of our family. After joining, we discovered the importance of Beth Chai's efforts to create and maintain a "sense of community." In short, our family's religious needs are not homogeneous and Beth Chai is able to satisfy this condition for us.
We wanted to renew our marriage vows for our 5th Anniversary. Art Blecher was the only rabbi we could locate who agreed to provide a Jewish marriage vow renewal even without requiring Max to convert to Judaism. Although married, we had prenuptial counseling sessions, which were insightful. After the ceremony, Art provided some short-term counseling to help us through a difficult period with our teenage son. We believe his professional counseling background helped us achieve a positive outcome.
We attended a High Holiday service and continued for a number of years because we found them stimulating. Faces became more familiar, we began to meet people; after several years we realized that Beth Chai was a place where we could "hang our hat" as an interfaith couple. It also met my needs to be affiliated with a clearly Jewish congregation where I could continue to study Jewish culture and traditions.
As we have both become more involved in Beth Chai the benefits of membership have continued to grow.
We joined Beth Chai when we were looking for a Jewish education for our children that we would find acceptable. Julie had a completely secular Jewish background. David was raised Conservative but no longer accepted the Torah view of God. Humanistic Judaism seemed to be a good fit for both Julie and David’s beliefs. Beth Chai provided cultural, ethical and historical background that furthered the Jewish identity of our entire family.
As an interfaith couple, we find that Beth Chai offers a welcoming environment within which to explore Judaism from a historical and humanistic perspective. We feel comfortable in an inclusive congregation that values self-responsibility and social justice.
My husband and I were typical baby boomers in that we had little tolerance for, or patience with, joining organizations. This applied to committing to any organized religious group as well. Though we both came from conservative backgrounds with Bob's family being less observant than mine, we had never found a congregation in the area that felt comfortable.
As a way of maintaining a connection to our "Jewishness," we attended High Holiday services at the Hillel at Georgetown University. This connection seemed enough - until our son was school age. As Alex approached kindergarten, we again visited different congregations; and, again did not feel comfortable. The dogma - particularly that surrounding religious education - was more than we could accept.
Sensing our frustration, a friend suggested that we meet with Dr. Arthur Blecher to talk about our feelings, experiences, concerns, issues and desires for our son to receive a more formal exposure to Judaism with a group of his peers. Our meeting with Dr. Blecher was enlightening. At his suggestion we spoke with members of Beth Chai, visited the cultural school and attended services. We experienced a warm welcome and immediately decided to join the congregation. The warmth we initially felt has never diminished. Our connection to our Jewishness has been enhanced and enriched in untold ways. The only regret is that we did not join the congregation years earlier.
Beth Chai has given me both the community I was looking for and a belief system that makes sense to me. It's also a place where my interfaith family is comfortable. My son's Bar Mitzvah, including a project on interfaith families, was a learning experience for both sides of our family.
In a religious environment whose response to the challenges of interfaith families ranges from indifferent to patronizing, Beth Chai stands out as a rare exception. Rather than coercing non-Jewish partners to unilaterally accommodate the others’ needs, then hiding behind a veneer of “inclusiveness,” Beth Chai promotes the spiritual and social growth of all participants. Significantly, the congregation achieves its objectives without resorting to dogma or intellectual rigidity, and instead encourages exploration and debate.
Much of what I learned and remember about Judaism was not from services or Sunday School at the reformed congregation my family joined after moving to the suburbs in 5th grade, but from visits to my German, orthodox, immigrant grandparents who lived in the city only blocks from my first home.
In their everyday life, my children were not exposed to Judaism as I had been. Without some action on my part, they would learn more about Christianity than Judaism, which is only natural in this country, and family Bar and Bat Mitzvahs would be alien to them. For me, a non-practicing Jew, Sunday school became the only option if I wanted my children to know about Judaism. Yet I could not bring myself to joining a congregation or sending them to a Sunday school where I would not be comfortable because of my personal beliefs (and distaste for organized religious groups).
Years later, I realized that I benefited from Beth Chai perhaps more than my children have. I find the services spiritually and intellectually enriching – they are the first that I have ever wanted to attend – and value the friendships I have made.
I grew up in a very traditional religious home and had an extensive Jewish education. But the more I learned, the more I questioned the existence of a supreme being. There was no proof, and what about the Holocaust and other tragedies? For several years, I took my children to a park on the High Holidays to hold our own non-theistic services and to discuss being better to others (which to me is the essence of Judaism).
But when I tried out a Beth Chai service, I realized that an important part of being Jewish is being with other Jews, something that had been missing, and I wanted to enjoy Judaism’s rich traditions, history, holidays, and ethical teachings. Even now, after more than fifteen years with Beth Chai, I feel our services are like a breath of fresh air. The services and discussions are very satisfying and stimulating instead of long, boring, and meaningless. I have also made a lot of good friends.
I no longer concern myself about whether or not there is a supreme being, but I firmly believe that as Jews we have the power and the duty to try to make the world a better place. And being a Beth Chai member helps me to do that. I can honestly say that my association with this congregation has made my life much richer and more rewarding.
Beth Chai has taught me and educated my family about Judaism. The Rabbi is a true scholar in Jewish history and cultural issues. He also was an excellent tutor to our sons for their Bar Mitzvah preparations. Beth Chai as a Humanistic organization has also been supportive of our religious differences and theist beliefs.
Beth Chai has also been a source of friendships. There are some lovely people who have supported us and enriched our lives. We enjoy the Friday night Shabbat discussions around Jewish cultural and political issues. I have enjoyed teaching in the Mitzvah Sunday school classes on ethical issues.